The 3rd Month of Fatherhood
All kinds of dads. Fathers' Forum welcomes gay fathers, husbands parenting together, single dads, adoptive and foster dads, and every family where men are raising children. Bruce's original book often described heterosexual couples; these pages are updated for today's families — including how gender, masculinity, and parenting roles are changing. Swap in your own names and situation wherever the text mentions a partner's pregnancy or birth.
In the third month you may hope for a routine — but that's not always the case!
It doesn't mean anything is wrong. Babies take a long time to adjust to life outside the womb.
Many dads hit the exhaustion point. Broken nights leave fathers spent — physically and emotionally.
Parenting roles can polarize: one partner spends more time with baby, the other feels less skilled at soothing. Children need all their parents.
Your baby learns that your hands, voice, and smell differ from your partner's. Father involvement at this age supports development for years to come.
For your baby
- Let them grasp your finger on your lap.
- Use a safe crib, playpen, or seat with objects to look at; change the view sometimes.
For your partner
- Take a family walk; try a front pack on you.
- Talk about each of you getting twenty minutes to yourselves in the evening.
For yourself
- Walk with your baby alone and notice how caregiving matters.
- Leave work a few minutes early for quiet time.
From Becoming a Dad: How Fatherhood Changes Men by Bruce Linton, Ph.D., MFT — practical tips from dads in Fathers' Forum groups.