The 4th Month of Fatherhood
All kinds of dads. Fathers' Forum welcomes gay fathers, husbands parenting together, single dads, adoptive and foster dads, and every family where men are raising children. Bruce's original book often described heterosexual couples; these pages are updated for today's families — including how gender, masculinity, and parenting roles are changing. Swap in your own names and situation wherever the text mentions a partner's pregnancy or birth.
Having a baby and making the transition to parenthood is a very complicated process.
During the fourth month you may notice change in intimacy with your partner. That is very normal.
If your partner gave birth, reduced sexual desire can link to hormones and focus on the infant.
In two-dad families, intimacy often shifts from exhaustion, uneven night duty, or one partner feeling more primary caregiver.
It is normal to feel jealous of the baby or of lost attention from your partner. Your relationship can grow more intimate in new ways — talk about what closeness means now.
For your baby
- Make sounds with your baby and see which they respond to.
- Notice which toys they like to hold.
For your partner
- Discuss changes in sexuality and intimacy honestly.
- Acknowledge how much life has changed in four months.
For yourself
- Rest — massage, sauna, or a walk with a friend.
- Share what you've discovered about being a father.
From Becoming a Dad: How Fatherhood Changes Men by Bruce Linton, Ph.D., MFT — practical tips from dads in Fathers' Forum groups.