All kinds of dads. These guides welcome gay fathers, husbands parenting together, single dads, adoptive and foster dads, and every configuration where men are raising children. Bruce's original writing often assumed a mother and father in traditional roles; we've updated the language while keeping the wisdom from decades of dads groups — including how gender, masculinity, and fatherhood itself are changing. Where the text mentions pregnancy or birth, adapt it to your path: surrogacy, adoption, co-parenting with a spouse of any gender, or two dads sharing everything from night feedings to paperwork.
The first twelve months of fatherhood
From the appendix of Becoming a Dad: How Fatherhood Changes Men — updated for today's families.
Pregnancy — three trimesters for dads
For expectant fathers when a partner is pregnant, or when you are preparing for surrogacy birth or adoption placement. Skip ahead to month one if you are already parenting.
Trimester 1
Early pregnancy
Trimester 2
Fear and hope, finances, what kind of father you'll be — paths through pregnancy, surrogacy, or adoption.
Mid pregnancy
Trimester 3
Ultrasound reality, money worries, changing routines and intimacy with your partner.
Preparing for arrival
Birth or placement, your own father as model, prenatal classes, support for gay dads at the hospital.
Month by month — the first year
Full essays and practical tips from the book. Each page includes guidance for partners, your baby, and you.
Month 1
Arrival & adjustment
Month 2
On-the-job training, permission not to know, supporting your partner and baby.
Adventure underway
Month 3
Your baby as a person, work-family balance, finding other dads to talk with.
Exhaustion & involvement
Month 4
Routine hopes, polarized roles, why both parents matter.
Intimacy & sexuality
Month 5
Normal shifts — including for two-dad families and co-parenting husbands.
Your own father
Month 6
Inherited role models, masculinity changing, fatherhood as identity.
Half a year in
Month 7
Teamwork, different parenting styles, tolerance for change.
Your irreplaceable role
Month 8
Work vs. family, courage, patience with yourself.
Teamwork
Month 9
Connection with baby, asking for help, flexibility.
Parenting partnership
Month 10
Assigned roles, work-family balance, evolving fatherhood.
Names and routines
Month 11
Patience, shared feeding, your rituals with baby.
Being a couple again
Month 12
Intimacy, loneliness, growing as partners.
One year in
Celebration, no single blueprint, what's next.
Explore developmental stages of fatherhood and weekly articles. Questions? Contact Bruce.