The 3rd Trimester of Pregnancy for Dads
All kinds of dads. Fathers' Forum welcomes gay fathers, husbands parenting together, single dads, adoptive and foster dads, and every family where men are raising children. Bruce's original book often described heterosexual couples; these pages are updated for today's families — including how gender, masculinity, and parenting roles are changing. Swap in your own names and situation wherever the text mentions a partner's pregnancy or birth.
The last three months of pregnancy have begun — or you may be in the final stretch before adoption placement or surrogacy birth. Within weeks your baby may join you on the outside.
You've probably wondered what you will be like as a father. Your own father's model may not fit who you are — especially if you are a gay dad building a family that looks nothing like the one you grew up in.
Fathering is not a fixed role. Dads' roles are shaped by society and each family's needs. This trimester is a good time to re-examine work and flexibility in your plans.
Prenatal classes with your partner can help you prepare together. What will your role be during birth or at placement? What does your partner expect? What do you need?
Physical changes intensify for a pregnant partner; they may feel frightened or out of control. Be patient. If you feel overwhelmed between work and preparation, reach out — other dads have been there, including gay fathers and husbands navigating surrogacy and hospital policies together.
For your partner
- Get the nest ready together — furniture, meals, whatever your family needs.
- If you are preparing for birth, watch birth films together and tour the birth location.
- Ask what you can do to be there for your partner at birth or placement.
For yourself
- Plan for time off work around birth, surrogacy, or adoption.
- Ask two new fathers about their experience at birth or when their child arrived.
- Reach out to men in your prenatal or adoption-prep group for a dads-to-be night.
- Find exercise you can continue after your baby arrives.
From Becoming a Dad: How Fatherhood Changes Men by Bruce Linton, Ph.D., MFT — practical tips from dads in Fathers' Forum groups.
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